Telling a story: Reflecting on my own story after feedback

To start off, here's the feedback on my story:

A. I've also just started Digital Film Production (my blog is here http://heidibocalog.wordpress.com/ ) and also chose something different from a fairytale. I really like your story - it's nice and clear, and I had no problem understanding what was going on. The only comment I have is that maybe instead of "Homework" on the board behind the teacher "Exam" would have been my preferred choice of word, just to make things really obvious! Really good work though :-)

 

B. This is a student caught cheating at a test scenario:

What is going on in each frame.
1. Some students taking an exam in a classroom – possible geography?
2. One student looking over at another – copying?
3. Shocked teacher
4. Cheating student being reprimanded
5. Cheating student made to sit outside the classroom

I couldn’t see anything left out or too much put in. Perhaps frame 5 could have been outside the headmasters office for greater effect? I think its really good you didn’t choose a fairy tale because this is much more obvious if you don’t know the ‘story’.

 

I'd say that the feedback is positive and reflects all the things that I had been thinking about when drawing the frames. It had to be clear and obvious, contain enough information to inform the reader about what's going on, and add information to make the story more interesting and keep the reader thinking. 

Maybe I should challenge myself next time and pick a more difficult story, just to practice in making decisions on what are the important aspects of the story, what can be left out, etc. All in all, this exercise has triggered the way I look at movies and my critical thinking of why one frame works and the other doesn't.